This is so not aimed at the Review Corner. We believe in democracy but this collection’s five number ones, seventeen top fives and 24 top 10s doesn’t mean the record-buying public is right. Forty songs that all sound similar with Autotuning clear in places.
Still: it opens with Justin Bieber, and damn, the boy is good. With a different accent and some tinkering with the lyrics and tune this could be a Beautiful South hit, with its lines such as: “My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone.”
Zayn follows. He was in some boy band with a Holmes Chapel lad apparently, and this is about as bland as it’s possible to be without turning into a British Rail sandwich. Little Mix (ft Jason Derulo) are next. Next! We quite liked Mike Posner’s I Took A Pill in Ibiza, even though he sounds the “z” and probably annoyed the tourist board with the silly title. You should not, of course, take drugs, even if it does mean you pass out and avoid X Factor winner Louise Johnson, whose song made us re-evaluate how bland Zayn actually was.
The CD claims to be the only compilation to feature Cheap Thrills from Sia (ft Sean Paul). It’s not bad but if it’s that good why only track eight?
CD2 is more of the same. The Weeknd were a disappointment. Sigma (ft Rita Ora) was good, and small children’s favourite Walk The Moon with Shut Up And Dance is, well, a song for small children.
We notice that capitals are becoming popular with the likes of ZAYN and RHODES. Is this a thing? Is the music so samey that they’ve started shouting to stand out?
Also on here is Shawn Mendes, Ellie Goulding, One Direction, James Bay, Kelly Clarkson, George Ezra etc.