If you’re stuck for Xmas presents or even music for your Xmas party, Cher has obliged.

Abba wrote some of the best pop tunes in history, Cher is, well, Cher. She knows what’s going to work and she doesn’t muck about much with the songs, so Abba fans — which is basically everyone, in the world — gets the songs they love and Cher fans get Cher’s booming voice.

We tested this CD on fans and they loved it; we tried pointing out the gratuitous use of Auto-Tune but it made no difference, and as Cher practically invented the Auto-Tune sound, she’s got more right to use it than Andy Hildebrand (the bloke who actually invented it).

A Cher v Abba comparison shows that Cher has just removed all the nuance that made Abba so good. The changes you think are hers are generally the same as the original just less subtle: Chiquita opens with a marked flamenco guitar, but it’s there on the original; Waterloo is given a more solid, stamping disco beat — drunken office staff will be dancing to this all Christmas — but the front and centre saxophone was there all along, just more discrete. Etc.

Come 2025, every household in the UK will own a copy of this. Fact.

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